shag my cherry pie        


here's another instance of several seemingly random statements which will eventually join into a coherent thought...

neal's wiffle ball bat is still on the porch.  i saw it on my way out of the house this morning.

our neighbor is nurse, who has lived at her house for quite some time.

it's been really nice weather outside, lately...  we've spent a lot of time outside.

this lady planted some cherry trees next to her house, over by the street.

craig and andy have spent the most time outside, seeing as they have no jobs and are always home.

she's a nice and generous type person, apparently, lives alone with her cat.

craig and andy were outside one day, ran into this lady in her front yard.  she told them about the cherry trees, that they had way more cherries than she could possibly consume herself, and asked the guys to help themselves to cherries.

so craig and andy took a couple of bowls and helped themselves to some cherries, and we ate like kings for a while.

craig and andy have been spending a lot of time outside, tossing baseballs back and forth.  for a while they had the wiffle ball and wiffle ball bat, and had stuffed a piece of gravel into the ball for no good reason other than to make it fly in a strange manner...

one day last week, joslyn had come by to show us her new car.  andy was just walking around, swinging the yellow plastic wiffle ball bat, i guess because he was bored.  we were standing over in the side street next to our neighbor's cherry trees, looking at joslyn's new mitsubishi mirage (the car that you can see but that's not actually there).

and andy pulls down a couple of cherries, pops one in his mouth, decides it's not very ripe, and tosses the other one up in the air and slams the hell out of it, as though shagging fly balls in the park or something.

of course, the cherry had not the structural integrity of a baseball --- it splattered immediately, and the core landed about thirty feet away.

but the funny part came when we looked at the damage done... the, er, residue, the remains of the cherry, spattered all over the cylinder of yellow plastic like blood.  and he looks up and laughs.  "wow, looks like somebody got a beatin'!"

he hit a few more, and laughed harder with each one as the bat got bloodier and bloodier.  there were little bits of cherry skin stuck on the bat, too,  it looked very real.  when we went in, he just dropped the bat by the front door, hoping neal would see it on his way inside and get the wrong idea.

so every time i walk out of the house for the last couple of days, i see this bloody bat lying by the front door.

this has to be making the mailman a little nervous.


Tue, 15 Jun 1999 09:06:47