quaff...
whiff...
queen...
quagmire...
quack...
quickie...
quinine...
quorum...
queef?
quief?
kweeph?
late lunch, at an "irish pub"-themed place, with craig and elysse.
talking about words we hate, mostly because of the sound.
i can't think of a word that i actually hate.
craig professes profound dislike of "moist".
we recall a friend who hates "tissue".
elysse looks at me with that mischevious twinkle in her eye, and says, very earnestly, "queef."
i snicker, because the word sounds funny. i'd never heard it before.
craig nearly spits out a mouthful of food. that makes me laugh.
elysse now erupts in hard-to-control laughter.
i stare in bewilderment, looking back and forth between them for explanation. obviously, i'm missing something. is this some other bit of city-slicker slang that i've missed out on in my isolated rural upbringing? i mean, it's possible, for i was twenty years old before i learned (in a very similar way) that "snatch" has a more popular meaning than "to grab" or "small bit of something."
and so i say, directly to my fiancee, a little louder than i meant to...
"what the hell's a queef?"
and then there's one of those half-second moments where everything is really still and quiet... followed immediately by a simultaneous eruption of convulsive laughter from my companions, and i notice that our waiter, who had been headed towards us, had stopped and is now headed back to the kitchen.
when elysse and craig have recovered somewhat, they start making fun of me, and bandying the word about.
"we used to sit around and make up phrases with that word... like Queen LaQueefa."
"oh, yeah, well, we called her Queef Latifa."
"queefcake."
and the like. and then craig observes,
"i think i just discovered what i'll name my next cat. Queef."
and elysse replies, "why don't you just call it 'pussy fart' and be done with it?"
ah. comprehension.
and now i'm doubled over in laughter as the waiter returns, and asks if we need anything else. craig shakes his head, remarking, "actually, i've kinda lost my appetite." elysse politely replies "no thanks," and i just look up at the guy with the "help me, i need air" look on my face.
the waiter shakes his head, says "oh, yeah, that's right, you guys are being bad," and walks off smiling.
Sun Feb 27 22:29:18 EST 2000