D V D   t i m e   c a p s u l e        

my response to news that information stored in a satellite time capsule named KEO will be on (believe it or not) DVDs:

THE FUTURE:

FUTURE SCIENTIST 1:  sir, completed, have we, the player of salad plates, as in the KEO described.  however, understand not, do we, the message it brings.

FUTURE SCIENTIST 2:  play you, then, the messages, from our wise forefathers, brought forth.

FUTURE SCIENTIST 1 inserts the glass DVD and presses play.  the box emits a plaintive beep and a single message appears on the screen.

FUTURE SCIENTIST 2:  what means that?  in here a translator get!

FS1 hooks a language computer¹ up to the machine.

LANGUAGE COMPUTER (translating):  "You have exceeded your maximum of five plays of this DVD.  Please contact your vendor for a new copy."

FUTURE SCIENTIST 1:  WHAT?!? Only one copy do we have!!  and not what before it said that is!

FUTURE SCIENTIST 2:  the first message what was?

FS1 feeds a transcript of the previous message to the language computer.

LANGUAGE COMPUTER (translating):  "This is a region 2 DVD.  Please contact your vendor for a DVD valid for your region."

FUTURE SCIENTIST 1 (in shock):  appalled am i at the lack of wisdom of our forefathers.

FUTURE SCIENTIST 2:  heretic!  now, for the public, a good story up with must we come.

FUTURE SCIENTIST 1:  hmmm.  how about, "down 42 roads must a man walk in his life"?

[1] was so awesome in plan 9, i couldn't help myself.