c o n t a c t   l e n s e s        


after wearing glasses since 1988 (second half of eighth grade, lemme tell you, my classmates had a field day on me), and indeed the same frames since 1993, with the same lenses since 199[4-7], last week i got a trial set of contact lenses.  this is significant, because as i understand it, with my astigmatism i couldn't have tried them until very recently anyway.

the lenses i have, being a trial set, are not precisely my prescription, but come close.  i can tell that they're not exactly right, as a matter of fact, because in the distance i see two sharp copies of each edge, side by side (without my glasses i see two blurry copies).

other than that, it's been an exciting experience, to put it mildly.  i can see clearly and in full panorama.  it's been over a decade since i've had useful peripheral vision, so it's quite, eh, disarming.  every now and again the lenses float off to one side and i can see the edge of the lense like a giant bubble, which of course disappears when i try to look straight at it.  they make my eyes dry out a little faster than normal, and i still have a hell of a time getting the left one in and out (though the right one gives me no troubles at all).

i have always despised wearing glasses, because they feel funny on my face, they fit badly because the bridge of my nose is unexpectedly broad, and they make me look like real dork.  elysse tells me i have been strutting ever since i got these lenses... i don't doubt it.  i feel like a new muppet.

i put off trying contacts for ages because i saw the bitch of a time my sister (four years older than i) had with them when she was in high school --- hard lenses, enzyme solutions, cooking them overnight, allergic reactions, mascara under the lens threatening to scratch her cornea --- and i didn't want the fuss.  disposable soft lenses are very very different.  these have been completely painless.  i feel their undersides on my lower eyelids, and that's it.

the freaky part is touching your eye.  you've been taught all your life not to touch nor let anything else touch your eyes, but now you not only have to put something on your eye, you also have to manhandle your eyeball with your finger to get the blasted things off.  it took twenty minutes to get the left lens out the first night, and i wound up taking a deep breath and almost meditating before each attempt.  calm, must stay calm.  it's only slightly better after 6 and a half days.  the doctor said to give it a month before deciding, but things are looking good.

and it's amazing how the contact-wearers have come out of the woodwork since they've seen me without my bent and misshapen specs.  the sheer number of people needing correction for their vision astounds and frightens me; hey look, we're counteracting natural selection and evolving into a race of myopic atomic superbeings!

anyway, thought you fellow four-eyes might be interested.


Wed, 26 Jun 2002 00:18:34 -0400