craig is crazy.

sitting at burger king yesterday afternoon, a beautifully sunny sunday. the four of us are doing the usual talking about nothing in particular, making fun of everything thing. somehow we get to dogs. i'm telling them about my sister's english setter, a hyperactive beast with long snow white fur. when my sister got him, he was about ten inches long, and his head was the same size as the rest of his body, and he had a really long neck, and i thought he looked like falcor, the luck dragon, from the neverending story... which is really cool, of course. craig wholeheartedly concurs, and begins to tell us about the kitten he had which also looked like falcor... if you pulled its ears back, it looked like a horse, if you pulled them back a little more, it looked like a dog, and if you pulled them all the way down, it looked like a sheep.

okay, so i lose it at this point. it's very common for us to laugh hysterically at the things craig says, 'cause he's a funny guy, but this one is on the absurd side. ...and it sticks with me.

prepare to fast-forward [preparing to fast-forward, sir!] --- fast-forward! [fast forwarding, sir!] --- to about twenty minutes later. we're all riding in andy's car, tooling down ashland avenue, looking at all the nice houses on the way home. cake's "sheep go to heaven" comes on z103. craig says, "have you ever heard this song?" a muffled chorus of half-interested "yeah"s... and a few moments later, the statement of the song's chorus and the fact that i'm always several minutes behind in the conversations prompts me to ask a simple yet bizarre question: "so, craig, if sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell, then where do kittens with their ears taped down go?"

i wish i could describe neal's face. "i don't follow that at all, but it's really funny."

after much laughter, craig states matter-of-factly, "they also go to heaven." hey, kittens always go to heaven, whether or not they are made to look like sheep... with straight hair... and really small bodies... and long tails... so that they actually look nothing like sheep at all. even though their ears are taped down...

craig is crazy. i am crazy. momma, we're all crayzee now...

Mon Mar 29 09:46:41 1999