from the black crowes' webpage, http://www.tallest.com

Steve,
I need some advice, and since my question pertains to music, I figured you could answer it better than anyone I know. You see, I am an aspiring musician, but I'm feeling a bit frustrated at the outcome of all my practice. I can feel the music deep down inside of me, I can hear it, I can almost touch it, but it's like I'm stuck because I'm not at a point where I can play it yet, you know. What do you recommend I should do? Can you relate? Thanks, Nicole at: guerrin@jimi.warren.cc.nj.us

Last things first. Can I relate? Uhhhhh, no. but what I can do is help. Every musician at some point probably feels like you do. Boxed in, stuck, whatever you want to call it. I, however, have never really been there. You see, Nicole, I have always had the innate ability to, as they say, kid myself. What has seen me through is an extraordinary amount of delusional self esteem. It has never occurred to me that what I do on the drum kit is anything less that the sum of what all my drumming heroes would have done if they had simply been as great as I am. Go figure! Who knew? I am unequivocally the finest musician of my generation. Do you see what I mean? Now, a couple of easy steps can get you to where I am. First, never play anything unless you know you can play it perfectly. One should never take a chance musically, especially with other people in the room. This can lead to some of that silly, nagging self-doubt that I hear so many other people talk about. Secondly, and I know everyone will think I am beating a dad horse, But I gotta say it-have yourself a beer. No one understands the plight of the musician better than your little buddies in the fridge. They don't talk back, they usually bring friends, and dammit, they just taste great. There also might be a connection between the amount of beer you drink and the level of delusion you can attain. The jury is still out on that one, but I think you know which way I am voting.