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The Top 15 Signs the Peanuts Comic Strip is Getting Old

 
  1. Linus now comforted by *Social* Security Blanket.
  1. Introduction of new bird named "Lollapalooza" in a last-ditch effort to appear hip.
  1. The Guiness Book of Records proclaims that Snoopy, at age 326, is now the world's oldest living canine.
  1. Charlie Brown finally gets a valentine -- from Anna Nicole Smith.
  1. Snoopy still referred to as a dog, rather than a Canine-American.
  1. Schroeder goes on tour opening for John Tesh.
  1. Losing one's clothes on the pitcher's mound no longer considered cute.
  1. New CBS special: "You're Incontinent, Charlie Brown!"
  1. Charlie Brown breaks a hip when dottering Lucy forgets to pull football away.
  1. Forget Beethoven's Fifth -- there's only one kind of movement that makes Schroeder happy these days.
  1. Lucy announces engagement to Larry King.
  1. Sign on Lucy's stand reads, "The Doctor is DEAD."
  1. Buffalo Bills retire place-kicker Charlie Brown's number.
  1. Peppermint Patty comes out of the closet and we learn why Marcie's been calling her "Sir" all these years.

and the Number 1 Sign the Peanuts Comic Strip is Getting Old...
 

  1. Instead of waiting in awe for the Great Pumpkin, Linus waits in dread for the Enlarged Prostate.