Hell and Thermodynamics
A true story. A thermodynamics professor had written a take
home exam for his graduate students. It had one question:
Is hell exothermic or endothermic?
Support your answer with a proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant. One student, however wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at
what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving?
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there
are
more than one of these religions and people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go
to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay
the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
-
So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until
all hell breaks loose.
-
Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Therese
Banyan during Freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still
have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot
be true, and hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.