The Year's Best Actual Headlines (yes, they are real)
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Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
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Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
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Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
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Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
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Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
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Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
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Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
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Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
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British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
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Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
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Eye Drops Off Shelf
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Teachers Strike Idle Kids
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Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
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Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
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Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
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Miners Refuse To Work After Death
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Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
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Stolen Painting Found By Tree
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Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter
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Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
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Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
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War Dims Hope For Peace
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
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Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
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Deer Kill 17,000
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Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
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Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
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Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
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New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
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Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
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Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
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Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
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Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
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Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
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New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
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Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors