Signs That You Are Too Drunk

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job is interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -- coincidence? I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth -- now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. You fall OFF the floor...
13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger...screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you.
16. At an AA meeting you begin: "Hi my name is... uh..."
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
18. The whole bar says "Hi" when you walk in...
19. Every night you are beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
20. Don't recognize your significant other unless seen through bottom of a glass.
21. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
22. You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Waikiki.