Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Montana At least our cows are sane!
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.
If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be having a good time.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekasion.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?