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Since it is Friday afternoon and I am sure that it is dragging for everyone, I 
thought that I would share a couple jokes that were sent to me.  Have a great 
weekend!
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A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!"

The bartender pours out the shots, and the cowboy drinks them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you'd drink that fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender says, "Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?"

"I have only fifty cents!"

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say......LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife fell three times this week."

Three guys, a Newfie, a Quebecer and an Albertan are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total", says the Genie. The Newfie says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

With a blink of the Genie's eye, ,FOOM' the oceans were teaming with fish. The Quebecer was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so that nothing will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, ,POOF' there was a huge wall around Quebec.

The Albertan asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Albertan says, "Fill it up with water."